Resconstruction of Men
Men, acquiring a deeper understanding of self and loving with confidence
It’s extremely challenging being a man in this modern day…especially a conscious masculine man. Many men have fallen victim to the construct of the MAN BOX. We’ve followed the lead of our father’s, grandfather’s, uncles and even the neighborhood OG’s in riding shot gun to the idea of what manhood and masculinity is.
And yet your soul is unsatisfied and you’re perplexed by the number of failed relationships. You have become exhausted by the wash-rinse-repeat cycle of dating, maybe falling in love, breaking up, moving out, do it again. You look at yourself knowing you’re a good man, you’re a hard worker, you have skills to provide and the capacity to love hard.
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You want to have a life with no regrets? You want to live in your purpose? Find the strength and courage to own your masculinity and sexuality and let your heart not only be felt, but be seen. Be confident living your truth for the people who surround and support you, but most importantly for you.
Is there a science to a successful relationship?
01
The four building blocks of trust and intimacy
I would be lying to you if I told you there was some magic bullet to having a successfully and loving relationship. However, there are the FOUR BUILDING BLOCKS that are fundamental to the success of any relationship; and they are COMMITMENT, RELIABILITY, CONSISTENCY and ACCEPTANCE
03
Have you learned to let go?
The ability to influence, to capture a heart requires a level of self-awareness. But has your self-awareness really addressed those fundamental fears? One of the biggest things holding you back is most likely the inability to let go of one of the three fundamental fears: Fear of not being loved, Fear of not belonging and Fear of not being enough
05
Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
At the end of the day we ultimately want to feel happier, more resilient, more confident, less resentful and better equipped to endure the many stresses of a intimate relationship and marriage. You ask yourself, what could benefit me the most right now? The answer is your ability to listen. Knowing how to listen to your partner with empathy, interest, concern and most importantly without offering solution
02
The four horsemen of the apocalypse
Just like the ying and yang, the universe always has some form of balance. As there are four fundamentals for success; there are THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE. These are the four attitudes that most predict the dissolution of a relationship; especially in combination. They are CRITICISM, CONTEMPT, DEFENSIVENESS and STONEWALLING
04
The three P's are not enough
As a young man many of us have been taught the 3 P’s to being a man in a relationship; Provide, Protect and Profess. Well men I hate to hurt your feelings, but that isn’t enough. Building a healthy relationship takes work. Those ingredient should include honesty, trust, respect empathy, and cohesion. However, at the very core of all these things is something much more important. For any intimate relationship to survive and grow, there must be a shared sense of EMOTIONAL SAFETY
06
This thing called LOVE
So often the four letter word; LOVE is tossed around. Some of us long to hear it and at times others have cringed when it was spoken. However, what is it? What does it mean to you? The dictionary describes it as …1. an intense feeling of deep affection 2. a great interest and pleasure in something 3. feel deep affection for (someone) 4. like or enjoy very much. We tend to use the word to measure the depth of our emotions in a relationship, but in essence its not the depth of the emotion that we crave or even measure. Its the action and behavior that separates LOVE from like and means the most. LOVE isn’t just an emotion, its also a verb.
